Second Installment: "The Biography Of Achievement"

A mission That Matters

Your Revolutionary Idea

"What a person actually needs is not a tensionless state,

But the striving and struggling for a goal that is worthy of him or her”

~ Dr. Viktor Frankl

 

Some two hundred plus years ago, our Nations Founders had a revolutionary idea... ”That all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, (the right to exists) liberty, (the freedom of choice) and the pursuit of happiness” (the freedom to pursue that which makes you happy).

 

You will notice that among these rights is the “pursuit” of happiness. Not the guarantee of it...Since happiness in and of itself is more an internal than external experience. Yes, there are external events and objects that contribute to our sense of “happiness”, but since these are temporal conditions or objects subject to passing and decay they are incapable of maintaining a sense of “happiness” for any of us. Thus true… or genuine “happiness” must come from within the individual, through his or her contribution to life… an adventure to be explored and experienced through our own unique approach to it.

 

Enough said; back to that revolutionary idea, until our nations founders crystallized their thoughts by putting them in black and white, they were vague opportunities awaiting discovery, or seeds of courage awaiting the soil of commitment, with the obvious harvest of freedom we all know today. Yes, I did say courage. Because it takes a lot more intestinal fortitude to step out of the box of conventionalism, or accepted ideas, than to stay in the box of that which is known or accepted.

 

Let’s face it, this Nations Founders could have spared themselves a lot of cost, inconvenience, and shed blood, by staying with the accepted idea that England’s King had the right to impose his rule of subjugation upon them. But they believed that the rights of all and not just the privileged were worthy of the sacrifices to be made. So you see, the Declaration of Independence wasn’t just a stated goal, although it was that. It was also a mission that mattered! This was a purpose with a price that was worthy of all those who signed their names to it. But it could only become a purpose of the people by being translated into terms they could all see and agree to, thus the appointment of Benjamin Franklin, John Adam’s and Thomas Jefferson to draft into black and white their revolutionary idea, the Declaration of Independence.

 

This was their show of commitment; signed by the representatives of each of the thirteen colonies, a stated goal to be free of King George’ unjust rule. Was there a price to be paid? You know there was, for the success or failure of their purpose. Each who signed and fought had to be willing to lose their lands, their fortunes and their lives. A sense of their understanding and resolve to this purpose is best expressed in the immortal words of Patrick Henry. . . “…is Life so dear or peace so sweet, so as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it almighty God, I know not what course others may take, but as for me, Give me liberty or give me death!”

 

What is your GOAL or MISSION that MATTERS...? Is it worthy of you? If it is, are you willing to sign a Declaration of Independence from all that opposes your purpose? Are you willing to commit your lands, your fortunes, and yes, your LIFE to its fulfillment? Radical concept isn’t it! And yet, that is exactly what our Nations Founders did. Yes, they made history with their REVOLUTIONARY IDEA, because they were willing to go all the way with it.

 

Personally, I like that! Actually, my Daddy liked to point out, that much like him, I tend to lean to extremes... for me, it’s all the way or nothing. But then I was brought up with the mindset that half-heartedness was the same as doing something half-done and that something half-done isn’t worth being done at all. Think about it ... how would you like a cup of coffee half- cooked? No thanks, or how about moving into a house half-built? It’s plain none of us could call that a home. Goals are just that way, as they relate to our everyday lives. And so it is, that a discarded Goal, or Purpose is like a life half lived.

 

Some Goals take a lifetime to fulfill, some a moment, some a month, and some a year. The time-table isn’t what’s important but that you remain true to yourself, and make it happen, whatever that Goal might be. I’ve always considered myself fortunate in having been raised with the principle of…”NO APOLOGIES, AND NO EXCUSES” which translates into “LIVING LIFE ON PURPOSE”. Dose that mean all your choices are right ones? NO. Dose that mean you’re free from adversity, NO. But, when you do live life on purpose, you add meaning to your existence.

 

Yes, with a mission that matters, your life becomes a contribution to the world in which you live. In very real terms, your primary Goal or mission that matters is your way of giving something back to the world, for the gift of life you’ve been granted. No one has given more clarity to the "Human necessity for Purpose" than the late; Dr. Viktor Frankl, a noted Psychiatrist, Author, and former Professor of Neurology at the University Of Vienna Medical School. Frankl flatly states; "...What a Person actually needs is not a tensionless state, but the striving and struggling for a GOAL that is worthy of him or her."

As a survivor of Auschwitz, Dachau, and other Camps, he has first hand knowledge of the human condition when put to the ultimate test. Of that experience he wrote..."I remember my dilemma in a Concentration Camp, when faced with a man, and a woman who were close to suicide; both had told me that they expected nothing more from life. I asked both my fellow prisoners whether the question was really what we expected from Life. Was it not rather, what Life was expecting from us? I suggested that Life was awaiting something from them. In fact, the woman was being awaited by her child abroad, and the man had a series of books which he had begun to write and publish, but had not yet finished."

 

We obviously are not confined to the rigors of Concentration Camp Life, nor are we restricted to the whims of tyrants imposing their will over ours. But we do have the same choices those who suffered such unspeakable cruelty had. You ask, and rightly so...What could we possibly have in common with those who were subject to the Nazi Death Camps? Simple, just as there were elements beyond the control of those in the Camps, there are elements beyond your control in the day-to-day affairs of Life. And just as Dr. Frankl points out, no matter what the outward circumstance... No one but you has the power to control how you will respond to the events surrounding you.

The point is; that only you can find Meaning for your existence in whatever circumstance Life may find you. True, those in the Camps had no control over weather they would live or die from one moment to the next, but they all had the power to choose how they would respond to that uncertainty. That same power is yours RIGHT NOW! So whatever the circumstances you might be facing right now, there is a lesson to be learned and applied from those who suffered Concentration Camp Life... That is, not only do you have the power to choose the attitude you will take to Life’s uncertainties. But, YOU through a definiteness of purpose can add Meaning to your existence amidst the gravest of adversities.

 

GOALS, sometimes they serve our ambition to do or be more than the present moment affords us. Sometimes, they are our link with survival, and the very will to live. My Daddy while suffering with the effects Cancer had on his body and brain had a goal, a simple one, to bring a smile or a laugh to those suffering like himself, and he did. I mention this again because I saw first hand how that seemingly insignificant GOAL added MEANING to his otherwise meaningless existence of suffering.

 

My Daddy was a Proud, but simple man, and I Miss Him dearly! The lessons of Courage, and Character he left behind... they will always be my guide. I share this his greatest act of Valor with you so that you will know that GOALS are more than something you write on paper, more than a catch phrase for the ambitious, but the very fabric that Meaning in Life is made of.

 

For the record, my Daddy was a soldier in World War II, who like so many was wounded in action, and as a result was a recipient of the Purple Heart, and though Daddy knew first hand how to face his fears. Facing fear was no less difficult for him than you or I. I mention this, because there are those of you who will one day, like my Daddy, meet with your mortality through cancer, or some other life threatening disease. And I for one want you to know, that even in life’s darkest hour there is Meaning to be found.

 

Much like my Daddy, Mom suffered with the effects of cancer only a few years later, and once again, we as a family faced the devastation, and horror of this disease. Those who were fortunate enough to know Mom found her unyielding sense of compassion for the under privileged of our community a humbling experience. She was a Volunteer Social worker for some fourteen years, a direct liaison to the Mayors office for three administrations, President of the South End Neighborhood Council, Executive Board Member of Citizens for Citizens, and Family Services… you get the idea. Mom was basically a poster child for both planned and random acts of kindness.

 

What few were aware of though; was that she had two heart attacks, open-heart surgery, a stroke, high blood pressure, a nervous breakdown, cataracts, arthritis, and diabetes. My point in mentioning all of this is that when Mom was diagnosed with cancer she already had enough health concerns, but life didn’t seem to take notice of her contribution to the world, or what she had already suffered.

 

As Moms primary care giver, I saw first hand, as with my Daddy, the horrors she bore with this disease, so when I say meaning can be found in life’s darkest hours, that’s a subject I know a little something about. Like my Daddy, Mom was more concerned about her children than herself. Striking how the last thing she told me was the same as Dad… to look after our family when she’s gone. Mom was so generous in her praise, and would often tell me I was “her whole world,” you see, I knew we all were… but Mom had that way of making you feel unique, and irreplaceable. What she was to us was “The Center of The Universe…”

 

The night mom died, all but two of my siblings were at her bedside. To say it was a difficult night for all of us as we said our good-byes would be a gross understatement, but it was a night we will all remember. In her final moments Mom became amazingly alert, wide eyed, and looked over all of us at her bedside, then she looked up, called my Daddy’s name… paused, whispered my name, and closed her eyes for the last time.

 

That was in 1996, and I still ache at the mention of her name. I miss her smile, her laughter the sound of her voice, the look in her eyes when I’d walk through the door… all the little things that made her the unique person that she was. Yes, this is all normal, and part of the grieving process, but as those of you who have experienced the loss of a loved one knows, it doesn’t make it any easier. I’ve told you about Mom because as harsh as her suffering was, she never lost sight of her love for her family and friends, or the importance of showing you care…  I also wanted to express the sentiment of Rabbi Harold Kushner, that although “Bad things happen to Good People,” it’s how they’re remembered that honors them for their contribution to life.

 

Moms greatest contribution wasn’t getting hot lunches in our schools, establishing Community Youth Centers, helping to establish Free Legal Services for low income families, or the endless list of selfless deeds done on behalf of the community, but to have loved, and been loved. You see, Mom cared not just for her own family but for everyone she met, and the greater the need of the individual, the greater her sense of compassion to help meet that need. What was her greatest gift to the world…? Her time and attention harnessed by her ability to care. No, there’s no time like the present, to present your very best, that was Moms Life Long Goal, or Mission that Mattered… What’s yours?

 

In the late 1800's a teenage German Jewish boy found himself on the outside looking in on an educational system that deplored questions... He was told his curiosity set a bad example for the other students, years passed slowly, and eventually he ended up in Zurich Switzerland where in August 1900, he finished College. For some, that is where the learning ends, but that was not the case for this young man. Because he realized that in the University Of Life Class is always in Session.

 

Always with a notepad and writing instrument, his Ideas became GOALS...or theories he sought to prove. One of which was the Theory of Relativity... Albert Einstein’s never ending curiosity about the world around him, changed the course of science as we know it forever... I recall reading an article some years back concerning Einstein and an assistant, the writer stated that after having finished a paper, Einstein and his assistant searched the office relentlessly for a paper clip. They finally found one, too badly bent for use.  And after opening many drawers looking for an implement to straighten it, they came upon a whole box of useable clips. Einstein at once began shaping one into a tool to straighten the bent clip. His assistant, puzzled, asked why he was doing this when there was a whole box full of usable clips. Einstein replied; "Once I am set on a GOAL it becomes difficult to deflect me".

 

Make no mistake… Curiosity, Courage, Stick-to-itiveness, and a Definiteness of Purpose, these are all necessities for GOAL Realization. Emerson wrote; "What lies behind us and what lies in front of us pales in significance when compared to what lies within us."  Having been faced with the prospect of my own mortality on many an occasion, the concept of Meaning, or "Living Life On Purpose" has been tested tried and proven to be a true source of inner strength amidst the gravest of circumstances. Purpose or Meaning however; is not the same for one individual as it is for another, and that is a fundamental rule of Life we could all do well to remember.

 

What we all do have in common though is a Purpose sized void that only Meaning can fill. This inherent nature in the human species to strive for Meaning is a universal fact of Life we none of us can escape. Thus my reference to Dad and Mom’s choice to not yield to the horrors of Cancer, as well as Dr. Frankls fellow prisoners in the Concentration Camp who found their resolve to persevere and live on… realizing a sentiment that is best expressed in the words of the late Rabbi, Abraham Joshua Herschel; “That there is Meaning beyond absurdity... that every word, and deed counts.” That is to say, that you, right where you're at are poised to make a difference in this world.

 

So remember..."What a person actually needs is not a tensionless state, but the striving and struggling for a Goal that is worthy of him, or her." What is your GOAL or MISSION THAT MATTERS? What is it that adds meaning or purpose to your life? These are questions only you can answer, and answer them you must if you hope to achieve your personal best in any endeavor. GOALS… We understand them to be clear and definable objectives, the Bulls eye, or target of our ambition. And that in its simplest context is correct. A GOAL is a predetermined destination, the Mark Set as in a race. But, GOALS are so much more than that when you consider how they affect our everyday lives… determining who we are and will become from day to day…

 

In fact in 1953 Yale University did a survey of their graduating seniors. From this study they discovered that only 3% had taken all of the 7 steps necessary when setting GOALS, another 10% had taken part of the steps. But the majority 87% beyond graduating from college, and becoming a professor, preacher, or Doctor etc. hadn’t taken any of the steps necessary for setting and achieving those GOALS. In 1973 they did another survey of those seniors; and twenty years later in the areas you can measure… Career and Finances, the 3% who had taken all of the seven steps accomplished more than the 97% who had not combined!

 

The first of those steps is to Identify your Goal, or Mission that Matters.  Dr. Maxwell Maltz tells us “…It is the person who has no GOAL worth working for who concludes, Life is not Worthwhile” Obviously, finding that GOAL or Mission that Matters is up to you. The tools to reach your GOALS whatever they might be, you will find are all right here in front of you. These principles, however simple they appear you will find take on a profound nature when applied. And apply them you must if you are serious about your future.

 

As to the validity of the principles outlined here… They have been tested, tried, and proven true since time and history first began to be recorded. But, you will not be required to run out and purchase anything to make them work in your behalf. You simply have to begin working them, and that’s the tough part… getting started. On the other hand, the true measure of a man or woman is determined by that very act of beginning. Sure it’ll get tougher down the road, of that you can be sure. However, what you do beyond this moment, this reading, this day, will determine the measure of a man or woman you are, and will become. So, before you get too comfortable with the idea of putting these principles aside for a more convenient day, REMEMBER… “We are today the sum total of all our yesterdays, and will become tomorrow, the sum total of all our today’s.”

 

 So if you would dare join that 3% of extraordinary individuals, I offer the following exercise which is an adaptation of Lee Pulos‘ Guide to Personal Development, and Goal Realization… First, get two blank sheets of 8 1/2 x 11 paper (or larger if available) and a box of crayons, or several color pencils. On one sheet, as close to the center of the page as you can get, draw yourself… That’s right, draw a picture of you, yes YOU, the way you see yourself TODAY! (This is not a drawing contest so drawing skills are not important.) You can draw yourself small or large that’s entirely up to you.

 

To get a better perspective of how you see yourself in the looking glass of life… here are some guidelines… If you feel you’re too much of a brainiac, or spend too much time between the ears, for positive or negative reasons, then you’ll want to draw your head larger. That is out of proportion to the rest of your body. The same is true if you should happen to be an emotional person, or someone who focuses more on feelings than logic.

 

This again can be positive, or negative, it’s up to you to decide. In this case you’ll want to draw your heart larger than your head. Is this going to be all-inclusive…? Yes. From the sexual attributes of your body (such as a sexy, or tough guy figure) to your stomach, hair, nose, feet, and hands, any feature that stands out in your body image, or your view of you in everyday life should be reflected in this drawing. Be honest with yourself, after all that is the whole purpose of this exercise. Besides, no one else will ever see your drawing, unless you decide to show it.

 

NEXT: Think of yourself as a Host for Television, the program… it’s a Biography, not the Gong Show. So, while there may be humorous elements in your presentation, REMEMBER, THIS IS YOUR LIFE… Get the picture? Now in the space around your body, it’s time to fill in the blanks… That comes down to drawing people, your friends, family, spouse, and children. Include whoever, or whatever things are important to you. If the most important person is your spouse, draw that person next to you, Larger, or Smaller depending on how you see your relationship TODAY. Do the same with all the other significant people in your life (children, relatives, and friends). Then include your job, sports, hobbies, and community activities in the order of their importance (near, or far, large, or small). Include the positive and negative elements of your life… Use colors to express feelings, your joys, and pain, frustrations, and accomplishments. REMEMBER details are important.

 

Upon completion of your drawing, you may wish to set it aside for a while. However, don’t be surprised if you find yourself going back to your drawing later to modify, or change things… most people seem compelled to do the same thing.

 

On your second sheet of paper, start by drawing the ideal you, an ideal body image, the way you would like to be… ideally but realistically. Feel free to draw yourself as larger or trimmer, consider a happier expression on your face, or perhaps being more serious. The whole idea is to emphasize “The you,” you want to be.

 

NEXT: …Same as you did in the first drawing. Include the people and things in your life (near or far, small or large) the way you would like them to be in the future. Maybe you’d like a new house, or your first house for that matter? Then there’s your relationship with your spouse, and the desire to be closer, you can express this by drawing the two of you holding hands, signifying a change in your relationship. Perhaps you’ve replaced your old job with a more challenging one, one that energizes you, and brings you closer to fulfilling your major GOAL in life, your GOAL of greater physical fitness might be represented off to one side, by a Health Club… and so on.

 

Once again, upon completion of your drawing, sit on it for a while, and pull it out to make changes or additions if you are so inspired.

 

After you’ve finished your “touch ups”, you will have in front of you two representations of your life; where you are TODAY, and where you would like to be in the FUTURE. Your second drawing represents the GOALS you would like to achieve. Obviously, Meaning, or Purpose in Your Life is found somewhere in between the two images you’ve created… with this exercise complete, you can now state your Major Goal or Purpose _________________________________.

Congratulations … You’ve taken the first of the seven steps necessary to achieve your GOAL.

Now it’s time to SIEZE the DAY!!

And embrace the words of J.E. Rhoads!

 

DO MORE THAN EXSIST - LIVE

DO MORE THAN TOUCH - FEEL

DO MORE THAN LOOK - OBSERVE

DO MORE THAN READ - ABSORB

DO MORE THAN HEAR - LISTEN

DO MORE THAN LISTEN – UNDERSTAND

~ J.E. Rhoads

 

NOTE: None of the ideas or concepts contained in this presentation, or what is to follow, is original in its concept. The simple Truth is you can find all of this Information in a variety of Books expressed by more memorable men than myself. All I’ve endeavored to do here is point you in the right direction through personal observations, and Timeless Truths. In the final installment of this “Biography Of Achievement” a List of Recommended Reading will be included with all source material.