Profound Privilege
For a good many years, I like many with my particular
lineage defined my “Jewish Experience” by an unrelenting anger and contempt for
those who had imposed their ideologies upon my ancestors at the edge of a
sword. And while this disdain was justified, it was an inadequate means of
expression of what it truly means to be a fully enfranchised Jew. This
realization of course did not come easily nor was it something to which I was
receptive to for many years. But, upon meeting a woman who would become a
cherished friend, I was afforded the privilege of learning an unbiased
assessment of the history of the Sephardim. Yes, she was an accomplished
historian who knew her facts better than most. However, it was her acceptance
of an Anusim with a life-long hunger
for Heritage that began to open these eyes to the fullness of the “Jewish
Experience”.
Actually, it is to Ruth and her Family that this collection
of works has been dedicated. Fact is, my hope was to have had this published
long before now in honor of her tireless efforts within the Jewish Community,
as a means of expressing gratitude for all that she has meant to me, as well as
all those who were fortunate enough to have known her. I’m sure by now you’ve surmised;
Ruth is no longer with us. Sadly, she died not too long ago due to cancer. But
even in her personal struggle with this physical malady, she remained
intellectually, emotionally and spiritually attuned to what matters. I could write
for hours about the impact Ruth had upon our little community, and still not
even begin to scratch the surface of what she meant to those of us who knew
her. Suffice it to say, mine is but one life that has been profoundly impacted
by her, that in turn may yet in some small way benefit by word or deed the life
of another Jew before my days are done.
As a descendant of Converso and Crypto Jews from Spain and
Portugal, who were among the many baptized at the edge of a sword, I spent
several years trying to understand the intolerance and cruelty of those who had
stolen the identity and heritage of my family. But as already indicated the
more I learned, the angrier I became, until I’d become consumed with contempt
for those who had robbed my Family and I of the Benefit of a
Traditional Jewish Upbringing. For those who haven’t experienced such a loss, I
personally have no way of expressing how deeply it can impact ones life. On a
personal level, it has required a lifetime to come to terms with such a history.
But, in having come to terms with all of this, I have been fortunate enough to
redefine my “Jewish Experience” in light of Judaism’s Positive attributes and
the richness of Jewish Culture for all that it is, and can be.
Have I resolved all of my resentments? No, not by a long
shot, but I have determined to no longer be defined by them, and to contemplate
the continuity of the Jewish experience throughout history, while embracing the
profound privilege of being a Jew in this day and age. And while I’m now among
the fortunate to be defined by the uniqueness of Judaism’s timeless pursuit of
the Torah’s truths, that also means I’m hoping to be measured by Mitzvah above
all other means of acknowledgement known to modern man. That said it is
probably worth mentioning, that as in life, there are a fair share of
contradictions in this collection if you’ve a mind to see them. But, I’m not
the sort to apologize for the obvious, or anything else for that matter. I’ve
included all that I have because I’m of a mind that life is not simply a matter
of black and white, but a cornucopia of colorful experiences, ideas, and
opinions we ought to explore before coming to any conclusions. As to the
harboring of hope beyond the horrors of the Holocaust or embracing a personal
Sephardic heritage beyond the injustices of Exile and cruelty of the
Inquisition… Well, I personally can’t explain it, but then light does appear to
illuminate more profoundly in darkness, just a thought. Hey, I don’t pretend to
have all of the answers to the whys and wherefores of our collective misfortune
as a People. Fact of the matter is I still have more questions than answers
myself. So while I’ve expressed ideas and opinions that are conclusive for me
at this time, be assured they do not represent the sum total of all that I hope
to know or believe tomorrow. My hope however, is that betwixt and between the
questions and affirmations expressed here, you will find something that strikes
a chord in the melody of your Jewish experience and pass it on.
~
1391 CE
Copyright 2015 Michael Gibbowr
(Dedicated to the Benei Anuism of Spain and Portugal)
Terror and Tormoil dominate the Iberian Domain
As Propigators of the Pope “Commoners”
Inflame
Filling Hearts and Minds with Anti-Semetic
Guile
Promoting Acts of Violence Increasingly
Vile
Murdering and Torturing
Much of the Jewish Population
While At The Edge Of The Sword
Baptising Thousands
With No Remorse or Hesitation
Among those Forcibly Baptized
Were the Wealthy and Prominent Schollars
Tradesmen, Merchants, Financiers and Farmers
Along with those Living in Sqaller
Among the Provences Pursued
By the “Puppets of the Pope” were Baena,
Embraced Catholicism… to Escape a
Demoralizing Death
While Inwardly Clinging to The Laws of Moses
With Every Tormented Breath!
Making The Pograms Of 1391
A turning point in Spain’s Jewish History
The Immediate Forerunner of the Inquisition
With All its Infamous Cruelty
Introduced As A Means Of
Monitoring Forcibly Converted Jews
A People Purposfully Decimated
However, even with The
Bloody Excesses of 1391
Popular Hatred
of Jews Continued Unabated
Which made the Edict of Expulsion of Jews
In 1492 No Surprise
Ending the Golden Age
Of Intellectual Achievements of
the Sephardim with Lamenting Cries
This Calamity Proved Incalculable
For the Sephardic Population
Restricting Activity of a Third
Of The Beleaugered Hebrew Nation
Forced to keep their Faith a Secret
From Neighbors and once thought friends
Or face an even Crueler Fate
Few could Bear or Comprehend
So let’s review… Thousands Having Perished
In what was a Wave of Violent Assaults throughout that
Tumultuous Year
It is said that a Third of the Jewish Population
in The Iberian Peninsula
Were Murdered by Catholic Clergy driven mobs,
instilling inescapable fear
This resulted in The Decimation of Centuries
Old Communities
Many of which were Permanently Annihilated in
those Atrocities
Several sources place the death toll to have been in
the vicinity of 100,000 easily
Varying slightly more or less depending on
the source historically
Beyond those Tragic Events the Jewish Population
within The Peninsula
Suffered Ethnic, Social and Religious Carnage by way
of Forced Baptisms
The “Catholic Religion” Precluding them from any further
Open Participation
In the practice of their “Chosen Faith of
Judaism”
The Violation of That Particular Religious Expression
The Inquisitions “Grand Inquisitor” referred to as The
Blasphemy of “Judaizing”
Which Proved Punishable by Death in The
Autos-da-fé
The Anusim or “Forced Ones”
being left with No Room for Compromising
Worse yet The Benei Anusim enveloped Whole Communities
including Rabbis
Making Their Catastrophe Complete and Inconsolable
Then in 1492 what was left of that Dwindling Third of
Spanish Jewry
Matriculated across Europe , North
Africa and The Border
to Neighboring Portugal
Thus the Year 1391 Remains a Year of
Remembrance
And Collective Tragedy Amongst The Jewish Population
As well as Another Reason to Be Thankful for The Existence
of Israel
A Safe-Haven for Jews The World Over… Our Democratic Sovereign
Nation!
~
1492 CE
Copyright 2013 Michael
Gibbowr
(Dedicated to the Benei Anuism of Spain and Portugal)
The year is Fourteen Hundred and
ninety-two and the Expulsion Decree
Is enforced
with Malice and Efficiency
Those unable
to find Passage by Land or by Sea
Are Baptized
at The Edge Of The Sword, though some bow Willingly
For after
Hundreds of Years on The Iberian Peninsula
Leaving to
Some is an Unbearable Plight
Most however
will continue to Follow “Our Faith”
In
Secret… long into the night…
By day
wearing the “Cloak Of Rome
Converso’s and Crypto’s…
a People Within a People, ALONE!
There are no
easy choices to be made here
To Stay or
to Go has the Prospect of Fear
Would that I
had had an option
Other than
that which was mine
To Live at
Peace with The World
To Life’s
miseries be blind
But for some
reason, reasonable accommodations
Were not
afforded me…
Made to Wander
Place
With little
Rest or Security
Day to day
Survival a Prospect to Pursue
Accommodations
and Considerations afforded by few
This is No
Complaint merely an Observation
Survival
Requires Vigilance whatever your Vexations
But having
seen the Vile Nature of Man
His Misdeeds
and Cruelties on a scale grand
I daily
Observe To Do what is Required of me
To Admonish,
and Prepare others to Live Diligently
This course,
of course has been my Ancestors Lot
To Remind
The World what others Forgot…
To Be
Vigilant, as is Expected of Every Jew
Exiled
Place to Place, a Scapegoat to The Ignorant Not Something New
And yet, we
aspire to a Land of Our Own
Of
Ancient Origin… a Place We Once Called Home!
May that
Homeland in Judea once more Be Ours
To Rest and
Be at Peace Beneath Jerusalem
~
1497 CE
Benei Anusim
Copyright 2015 Michael Gibbowr
(Dedicated to the Benei Anuism of Spain and Portugal)
Drifting in a Sea of Pain
Floating down Memory Lane
Waves of Weariness Wash
Drowning in Misery
No More “The Captain of My Fate”
The Pilot of a Ship for which none will wait
Fated to Navigate Life’s Tumultuous Seas
Stripped of Sails and Ores, on an Uncharted Course of
Uncertain Degrees
Deep Waters of Grief keep my Vessel Afloat
Her Tides Ever Changing Whisper Memories of Familiar
Note
Coasting with the Tide and Current of Agony
Tossed to and fro with Remembrance Relentlessly…
~
Donna Gracia Mendes
Born 1510 CE Died 1568 CE
Copyright 2005 Michael Gibbowr
O patron of the Poet
Matron of thy Kindred Seed
Ever-mindful daughter of Zion
Upholder of our Ancestral Creed
We thine offspring of Tzedaka
Express our gratitude
For Comfort and for Sustenance
Amidst the inquisitional cruelty
Of the vulgar and the crude
Thine ‘twas the Hand of Kindness
Thine ‘twas the Heart of Hope
Thine the Mind of Prudence
In contrast to the propagation’s of the Pope
Conversos and Crypto’s baptized
By a Blood-Stained hand
Were tortured, dismembered and burned at the steak
As part of the inquisitions plan
To exact their ideology against the Seed of Abraham
Thou too a daughter of this injustice
Refused to become downhearted
Awaiting the hour thy Crypto-Cloak might thoroughly be discarded
When the Robe of Ancestral Faith might lovingly be embraced
But ‘ere before reconciled thou didst do thy part
To ennoble thy Kindred Race
And when refuge in the land of Turkey ‘twas thy portion to be
Thou didst increase thine efforts
Towards those bound and free
To thee Noble Princes
A debt we Conversos and Cryptos owe
For ‘twas in our darkest hour
Thou dispensed Hope more than you know
Yea, even those spared baptism, though tormented
And exiled from place to place
They too were Heirs of Tzedaka
By thy hand, though not all face to face
To thee we ascribe Honor
Gratitude and humble Praise
For thou Donna Gracia of Portugal
Art a gift from The Ancient of Days
~
Donna Gracia Mendes
Born 1510 CE Died 1568 CE
Copyright 2005 Michael Gibbowr
O patron of the Poet
Matron of thy Kindred Seed
Ever-mindful daughter of Zion
Upholder of our Ancestral Creed
We thine offspring of Tzedaka
Express our gratitude
For Comfort and for Sustenance
Amidst the inquisitional cruelty
Of the vulgar and the crude
Thine ‘twas the Hand of Kindness
Thine ‘twas the Heart of Hope
Thine the Mind of Prudence
In contrast to the propagation’s of the Pope
Conversos and Crypto’s baptized
By a Blood-Stained hand
Were tortured, dismembered and burned at the steak
As part of the inquisitions plan
To exact their ideology against the Seed of Abraham
Thou too a daughter of this injustice
Refused to become downhearted
Awaiting the hour thy Crypto-Cloak might thoroughly be discarded
When the Robe of Ancestral Faith might lovingly be embraced
But ‘ere before reconciled thou didst do thy part
To ennoble thy Kindred Race
And when refuge in the land of Turkey ‘twas thy portion to be
Thou didst increase thine efforts
Towards those bound and free
To thee Noble Princes
A debt we Conversos and Cryptos owe
For ‘twas in our darkest hour
Thou dispensed Hope more than you know
Yea, even those spared baptism, though tormented
And exiled from place to place
They too were Heirs of Tzedaka
By thy hand, though not all face to face
To thee we ascribe Honor
Gratitude and humble Praise
For thou Donna Gracia of Portugal
Art a gift from The Ancient of Days
~
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